In a way it's been a pretty good week, because imposed calm and rest is usually quite good for me, as I have energy in abundance and have an ability to do too much of everything for too long, which leads to either me hatifnatting (*see picture below) around doing ten thousand things at once, with a total lack of concentration and an inability to do anything properly and finishing a single project. Which usually leads to me getting sick in one way or another. As to impose calm and bedrest on me.
I have lived alienated from my body for sooo long that it feels like my corporal shell and my mind are two different existences. My body is crap; it falls ill, get sore, have biological needs etc etc. My mind on the other hand - is what I thrive on. But every time I do get ill, and get a corporal scare, I realise that 'hell I forgot that it's a holistic hole, if I abuse my body it will get ill, which will make both my body and mind suffer'. It's kinda annoying that I am so goddamn stubborn and short sighted that I have to get a mega cold, a ligament inflammation in my shoulder or Lumbago Acuta to realise (well, re-realise) this!
Every time it happens I tell myself; THIS TIME I won't forget, THIS time I'll start taking care of myself. NOW I am grown up. NOW I can do this. And then I get better, and I start it all over again...Sigh. But, the illnesses and problems have started coming closer and closer together now, and I also have this new need and craving for both alone time, relaxing time and need for SLEEP, so maybe maybe (whispered with SMALL letters) this time I will remember it a little bit longer than my nose is long....
Fact is I have wanted to start yoga again for ages, because yoga is one of the few things which makes me connect with my body, to feel that I am a whole being. And when I do yoga regularly I both feel better physically and mentally, and also feel better about myself. My sleeping patterns get better, I tend to want to smoke and drink less to be fitter and thus better at yoga classes. My body has a different kind of lean-ness to the angular skinnyness it has now. I also eat better, cause good hardcore yoga makes you both TIRED and HUNGRY. And sore the next day...but rather than being that rough post-gym-soreness it's a warm and cosy soreness, which makes you feel vital and strong (well, I can only talk from my own experiences off course..)
I also miss work, I really really wanted to go into work today! I have been working so little recently, because of my London-visit, and now because of my back. I miss the social aspect of my work, and I miss feeling part of something, and doing something worthwile with my time and energy. AND I miss my workmates! Ah I do love my workplace, I was hoping that I would love working at Friends as much as I loved drinking there, and turns out I think I like working there even MORE than I like drinking there! I love being part of the little Friends-family, I like my regulars, I like my newbies. I like that mostly the clientele is really great! ok it's a pub, obviously we get rough ones just like any other alcohol serving establishment does, but most people go to Friends because they know it, they know the concept, know the owners, know the other two bartenders (i.e me and the other lovely redhead(;) , know what to expect, and respect both the place and the people who work in it. So, I do like my shifts behind the bar, I get to both work hard and chat, to do what I do on autopilot (serve pints and every now and then shake a cocktail) as well as practise a bit of finnish and get to know new people.
On the other hand it is interesting being sober in a place where (most) other people are drunk. It's a kind of interesting sociological experiment. You get to see a lot. You get to hear a lot. And as a hairdresser, you are silent as the wall. What happens in a bar stayes in a bar. That is all I will say....
So I know this week of imposed rest is good for me, because I want to get this backsituation sorted out. So that I can start doing yoga. So that I can start toning up my back and stomach to avoid this in the future. So that I can start working again. So that I can SIT again. I never thought I would miss sitting so much! turns out sitting is quite usefull. Also turns out having a cup of tea/coffee/drink with someone who every second minute jolts up to walk a few lapses is quite distracting. And also gives the impression you are a bad listener. I think I might make a badge stating 'I am listening, if I jump up it's not cause you're boring [most likely] but because I have to move around so not to freeze up in this position!'
However, as I have regained a LOT of my ablity to move around, to bend down and to do normal stuff I have slowly this week started doing things. Monday, Tuesday and wednesday was a boring blur of hourly exercises, sleep on hard surface, moaning and groaning, pill-popping and teadrinking. Thursday I felt a lot better already, and took the opportunity to start wintercleaning my house in both a calm and slow manner, a project which I have continued on Friday and today, and I can almost promise that the house is now so clean that you can lick almost every surface. You can also safely lick the inside of the coffee brewer, and the sink, and the table...And in pictures I have pretty much done the following this week....
Cooked food, eaten food, planned food, thought about food...
Had some lovely surprise friend-visits and goodies brought to be, as well as company! Tack fina ni! <3
(Thilda had made these get well muffins for me)
Tried to sort out the clothes situation in my bedroom, which included an element of difficulty as Simba and Leia found both drawers and boxes immensly interesting...Leia in the drawer...
Simba in the drawer...
Simba in one of my boxes (which was meant to be used for storage, not as a cat play-pen...)
Oh yes, I got bored after wearing the same tracksuit bottoms and hoodie for 3 days straight, and decided to dress. Which turned into dress up. And make up. And backcomb very dirty hair a LOT!...AND take pictures out of lack of better things to do...
really dirty hair is very good for backcombing I realised...and black and white is always flattering...
Friday morning I had a nice but odd realisation - someone (no idea who!) has finished the snow path I started before getting sick...and the showel has moved. And the guilty person is NOT my dad. What the....?
Whoever you are, secret angel, you made a backsick young woman pretty happy!
the person in question has smaller feet than I have...that much is certain (righthand foot print is mine...)
Oh how I love this house! my little snow-nest!
Yeah did I mention that I cleaned, and cleaned....(the pots on the hob are washed and dried FYI)
and I've had the fire roaring most of the time for warmth and wellness factor..
Clean, clean, tidy, tidy (I stopped short of combing the carpet, it hurt my back too much...)
Detox on the outside....
...and in! Blueberry youghurt and banana, and heaps of green tea with echinea...
hmmm...what does one do on a friday night if one does NOT go out? Hmm, pull out the entire contents of the cupboard and fridge and cook for 4 hours perhaps?
I was doing rice, lentils, chickpeas and soymince ALL AT ONCE...typical Anna style..
Made some supertasty lentil-chilli-veg (beetroot, carrot, peppers, onion, garlic)-soymince-jasmine rice burrito-mix. With tortilla and lemongrass dressing. It tasted a lot better than it looks.
Well, off to do my exercises again...So long darlings!
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