1. I woke up with such crippling physical pain in my right shoulder, shooting down my right arm, my fingers, my upper back, my left side of the body, that I thought I literally was dying. I am a massive drama queen, and I am the worst in the world at dealing with actual physical pain! So, I cried. Like a little child I was crying hot little tears trying to find a position which didn't feel like my shoulder would pop out of its socket!
2. As such, due to point 1, and other factors, I am taking a 'lil holiday until I can actually USE my favourite arm (sorry leftie, but I can't do all this practical stuff with you!) again, and know what the hell is actually wrong with it
3. New life 'rules' are Sleep, Food, Strict rules, Meditation, Yoga, Kindness to Myself and...
4. CUTTING OUT THE CRAP. I am sick of this now. I am god damn sick of you you an you no names named. - I am god damn tired of wanting trying and hoping for someone I like to like me back. It is pathetic and sad and tiring like H*LL and it's finished now, GOODf*ckingBYE - it's not like I haven't tried (sending you postcards, emails, textmessages and just asking pleading you to bloody TELL me to stop doing so).
If there is one thing which provoces me to the end of my temper it is S.I.L.E.N.C.E - this rude, smelly, horrible thing you can do to another human being who is just trying to bloody answer;
should I go on?
should I stop hopingdreamingwishinglongingthinkingaboutyou?
do you want me to? (do that)?
BUT, I am sick of that now, now it's my terms again (forgot when it actually stopped being that - day one? When I gave you all my dreams to mess with however you wished to...), and if you bloody want me you can find me!
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