I love surrounding myself with items, text and music which peps me when things feel shit. As they do every now and then.
I used to have a 'positivity wall' over my desk when I lived in Bethnal Green, a series of qoutes which I used to read when I felt beaten by life, work, my studies, patriarchy, narrowmindedness or things in my private life. In order to read and contemplate these quotes, and to feel that I am part of something bigger, something more important than just the pettyness of everyday life. The dissapointments, the lost chances, the stuff you didn't dare to do, the things you dared to do but didn't succeed in, the things people said, the things people didn't say, the things you didn't say...
When I moved to Finland I pretty much threw out half of my belongings. I was sick of stuff, sick of feeling chained to a situation and place due to material belongings, so I got rid of my books (I kept about 9 books out of probably a houndred or so). I left almost all my cd's and dvd's at my ex's place. I gave away, threw out and brought a big part of my wardrobe to charity shops. I looked through, and then threw out my 10 full plastic bags of university notes (I regret that one). I gave away things. I left a beloved painting cause I couldn't deal with figuring out how I would get it back to Finland. But I brought my positivity wall quotes with me to Finland. They are now stuck to every door frame of my house, and some in my bedroom. So that I can see them now and then, when I'm in the toilet, when I'm leaving the house, when I wake up in the morning. And even though they are only a few letters on small pieces of paper they give me strength. Courage. Will to struggle and fight. And there's a lot to fight for.
Now I have a new positivity wall, a bunch of wonderful postcards I bought from the Oxfam bookshop in London. A new home, a new wall. New quotes.
The above is one of my new favourites, cause it reminds me that nothing ever come to people who wait. You need to be proactive and DO things for things to change. Both in your personal life, and in society at large. And we need people who dare stand up for their wiews. Who dare to be awkward, loud and adament in the hopes for change. We need people who dare to be disobedient. Who refuse to just be nice and shut up. But shout shout shout- until they are listened to.
I admire you strong and relentless sisters and brothers who fight for the rights of humanity (and animals), for a better tomorrow. People who live their lives according to their convictions- convictions of equal human value, fairness, openness, respect and solidarity. Your strenght and productive anger settles in my soul and belly like a warm and strenghtening fire.
So after a day of hiding inside I'll emerge into the world again tomorrow (assuming I can dig myself out of my house due to the snow), strenghtened by the thoughts of all the good things in life, and all the things worth fighting for.
Over and Out, Peace and Big Shout
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