I reiterate; All ways are Good except the Dumb ones

So, I am slowly learning that I am the Queen of Taking Too Much On My Plate. Not in a literal eating too much sense, I do the opposite there - but on the metaphorical 'I love saying yes to everything and jumping into these unthoughtabout projects without asking myself ever ever DO.I.HAVE.THE.CAPACITY.TIME.ENERGY.AND.POWER.TO.DO.THIS?' way. I am literally a pro at this, and I can tell you it is no good thing to be a pro at!

So, this whole advent calender malaka? How did I even think of that? Or, I will rephrase, I know exactly how I thought of it, in a crazed hyperactive moment with too much yarn and ribbons in my hair, when spending two hours every day doing my hair seemed like a wonderful idea. I have pretty much been in that state since I went to Sweden in August, and it went so far in the crazy hair department that I started feeling n.a.k.e.d and vulnerable when I was NOT wearing crazy stuff in my hair.

So, rephrasing the last question; Why did I think that I had the energy, capacity, time and power to do this crazy advent blog thing? Things that talk against it;
-I have a lot shorter hair now, which makes it harder to do in the first place
-It itches a lot, just like dreads, even when you shampoo and dry the crazy things
-It takes HELL A LOT of time doing a new thing every day, and sorting out the older ones which are hanging (literally) onto a thread
-There is only so much imagination one can have even with yarn, ribbon, fabric etc
-I have a crazy busy month with christmas fare, work at Friends, work as an art model, columns I am trying to write, projects I am trying to kick off, projects I am trying to complete, a hectic social life, money worries and planning, a demanding new(old) house, and first and foremost;
-I HAVE NO BLOODY INTERNET!!

I am a maniac, truly am. In the most selfloving way of saying that word. I have the dreaded and much hated Good Girl Syndrome. I love projects, I love planning, I love doing crazy and perhaps funny things which may or may not make people laugh, I love making people happy, I love when people tell me my clothes, hair and appearance makes them smile, or chuckle, or even just think twice about what is ok to wear etc...

And I TOTALLY forget myself in the process. I burn myself out in both ends, and then I wonder a week, month, half year later why I am jobless, tired, skinny and with a hopeless economy and irratic mind.

I do, thankfully, also have amazing friends, an absolutely totally brilliant family, an ability to make friends with pretty much everything from a door to a little old lady, an ability to laugh at even the pitchdarkest of times and at the hardest of experiences. And I also have a newly recultivated selflove. Which does not shine through every day, sometimes it is far far far away, but most of the time there it at least a little glimmer of it left, and it gets me through the other side. The organised side. The office manager self. And the office manager in me picks up the pieces, creates a new excel spreadsheet (or more likely a paper what to do note) of life advice, such as;

-Say no
-Love yourself
-Remember to meditate and do yoga!
-EAT!
-Sit down doing nothing every now and then
-Only socialise with people when you have the capacity and strenght and URGE to do so
-Don't think that you are always missing something if you are not participating in every social event in the entire world
-Don't drink too much, and more imporantly; don't drink for the wrong reasons
-Spend more time with your old and/or real friends, rather than irratically chasing new ones. Most of them won't get you anyway
-You can't do everything, but you can do Something.

And today I am feeling great. OfficeManagarAnna has been up and running for about a week and a half, and I am feeling organised (well, I am always organised/chaotic in a funny wierd mix, but I am organised economically, which is good), rested, happy, wellfed, warm, clean and....well, good basically.

So sayonara crazy hair idea! You will see me with crazy hair in the future too, but only every now and then, when I feel like it and have the energy and time to spend aaaaages doing it...

Right now I am going to spend my time making gingerbread, reading, prechristmas pepping, artsing and craftsing and resting instead - which is a LOT better!

Peace, Love and Pitbulls